Last week I read "Who is it that can tell me who I am?", by Jane Haynes, a London-based psychotherapist. I bought it after reading an interview she gave in the Guardian. Part of me wanted to answer the question with "I can! Your name's on the cover! And sort out your grammar!" But then later I felt a bit silly when she said it was a quote from King Lear.
You don't often see the therapists point-of-view in books, fiction or non-fiction, and since there is a psychotherapist in my next piece of writing, it was both research and a visit to my past.
To me the psychodynamic psychotherapy process is remarkable in many ways. If you have a therapist who is a good match to you and your problems, you can embark on an inner journey that can unlock parts of yourself you didn't suspect were even there. If you can uncover your natural skill at interpreting symbols and metaphors (we all do it to some degree, through watching films, reading books, etc), you will have the tools to understand your deepest feelings. If you keep a journal and patiently work through your dreams and fantasies, you'll discover all sorts of things about yourself, both painful and joyful.
Reading the accounts of people in this book, on both sides of the consulting room, has reminded me of how far I have come in the last five years. I have found the process of changing my experience of the world exhilarating and frequently very difficult. I am a different person and the same person. Change has been slow (five years!) and quick (I've rewired my brain!).
The book? It's well written, but the author's exploration of her own therapy was much less interesting than the case studies she presents in the second half. There are many fascinating insights throughout though. It reveals the power of two people talking in a room, over many months and years, within a particular power dynamic, to bring out hidden patterns of thinking so they can be reflected on and understood. And from this self-understanding, behaviour can be changed and attitudes transformed.
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